Some incidents do stand out in his mind, however. “I had just started seeing a guy who was HIV-negative, so I assumed he wouldn’t want to keep on seeing me, but he did and we had a relationship for four years.” “I am very close with my mum and my family, so in many ways I was very lucky – I went back home and told her and felt like I could do that, because some people feel like they can’t tell their family. I felt like my sex life and dating would now change forever, that was a big feeling I had at the time”, reflects John. “It definitely felt like I was going to be a bit rejected by other people who were HIV-negative, both as a sexual partner and as a boyfriend. Rapid developments in HIV testing and treatment over the last two decades mean that living with HIV is now a manageable health condition – a far cry from the devastating diagnoses of the ‘80s and early ‘90s currently being dramatised on Channel 4’s It’s a Sin.īut while John “knew HIV wasn’t a death sentence” at the time of his diagnosis, the lack of progress in educating others as to the changed reality of living HIV since the ‘80s – that if you’re on the right medication and your viral load is undetectable, you cannot pass on the virus – meant that the potential stigma he might face as an HIV-positive man weighed heavily on him for some time. John Thomas in Bristol in 2016, six years after his HIV diagnosis (Image: supplied) John says his speedy treatment and recovery from Hep C served as a valuable reminder that “it’s better to go sooner and deal with something that isn’t too much of a problem than leaving something too long.” John’s quick diagnosis and referral to doctors also meant that medical professionals were able to quickly spot a second, potentially more serious infection – Hepatitis C, which if left untreated can cause possibly life-threatening complications. “If I’d not had a test for a long time, in terms of my personal health it might have been OK, but I may have really struggled with feelings of guilt of possibly unknowingly passing it on to other people over a much longer period of time.” “I’d had a negative test in December and a positive test in March, so it really narrowed the window that I knew I’d probably contracted it, and that I’d potentially put other people at risk”, he explains. John Thomas in 2010, shortly after being diagnosed with HIV and Hepatitis C (Image: supplied) While John admits he was “quite shocked a quite vulnerable” immediately after his diagnosis, he’s keenly aware that the fact he had been getting testing regularly before his diagnosis minimised any potential wider fall-out. “I thought I was being careful, but there were times when I guess I wasn’t, but I was testing regularly so I found out I was positive in Easter 2010.”
I was aware of HIV and felt like I knew how to protect myself – to use condoms and test regularly… “I guess I was lucky, my mum was quite forward-thinking and gave me some extra sex education about condoms and things.
We were told it was OK to be gay but not to have gay sex.” We were taught, in terms of heterosexual sex, not to use condoms. ‘It’s actually very safe to have a completely regular, if not slightly crazy, sex life.“Our sexual health education in school was taught through religious education and was very limited. In the immediate aftermath of his diagnosis, he felt ‘unlovable’, ‘disgusting’ and that his life was going to end. He says he know that many people who become HIV are asymptomatic and experience no illness at first, but for him it was ‘very obvious something was wrong.’ Then I was sick.’Īfter a week he thought he was getting better, but then things got worse and he lost weight and had extreme flu-like symptoms.
‘I went to a party and had unprotected sex with multiple guys, and it was fun. He talks candidly about how he became infected. ‘I can’t sit on this secret’ he says, having kept it to himself for so long already. And why I would like everyone to know that I’m HIV positive. Talking of his reasons for making the video, he says, ‘I know some people won’t like it, but that’s more of a reason why it should happen. In the video, the London-based performer and escort says he was diagnosed 3.5 years ago, nine months into his porn career. Adult entertainment performer Kayden Gray has posted a video in which he discloses that he is HIV positive.